Blood of the Tiger Lily
by KyokoForever
Summary: How does one cope with being alone, with no one to love you? How do they go on living in their nightmare of a life? They try to wake up... Rated for cutting, language, drug use, violence, and comuning with one's soul. Read and Review! No Flames!
1. Tears of the Tigress

A/N:

Sakura: Don't ask me how I thought of this...

Adiru: How-

Sakura: hits Adiru with a loaf of bread Do you Wonder now?!?!?

Adiru: no...

Sakura: Good. I own only this loaf of bread...

Kisa hugged her legs to her chest. Tears formed in her eyes as she sat alone in her bedroom. Another usual day had gone by at school. Kisa was quiet most of the day as the children in her class laughed and talked to one another. But for Kisa, today had been different.

There was a girl in Kisa's class that everyone wanted to be like. She had perfect dark curls and a quirky personality. She was popular. Usually Kisa was simply in the shadows of the girls as they walked down the hallways. She went unnoticed. But today, she was noticed. The girl had hurt Kisa. Pushed her into a locker and hurt her. Kisa didn't remember what she did or what happened, all she could remember was the girl yelling,"No one likes you! You have no friends! Stop even trying to make friends! You're a freak and a bitch, so do everyone a favor and just stop trying!

As Kisa sat in her room, still in her uniform and homework still undone, all she had wanted to do was cry. Lay down on her cold bedroom floor and cry. She had been wanting the tears in her eyes to fall for what seemed like hours. When the tears still didn't fall, Kisa continued to lay on her wooden floor, the coldness of it making her body calm. She tryed to keep all of the days thoughts behind her, focusing only to keep her mind blank.

When the room stopped being lit by the sun shining through Kisa's thin curtains draped over the window, Kisa got up off of her floor. She looked at the clock on her windowsill. It said that it was six thirty at night. 'Mom isn't going to be back tonight,' Kisa thought to herself. Her mother worked at a job that always had varying hours. She had always told her that if she wasn't back by five, then she wouldn't be home for a _long_ while. Lately though, Kisa's mother hadn't been home at night.

Kisa opened her drawer and took out some pajamas. She didn't feel like eating that night. She walked down the hallway into her bathroom and locked the door behind her. She put the hot water on full blast and slowly undressed. She felt the hot water start to burn her skin as she showered. She soon got used to the water's high temperatures and stayed in the shower until there was no hot water left.

When she got out of the shower, she quickly got dressed, not even bothering to brush her hair or dry off. Kisa then went over to the sink and splashed water on her face to try to get the tears out of her eyes. She then caught at her reflexion. A young girl with golden hair and eyes simply just stared back at her. Something then caught Kisa's eye.

It was a razor on the edge of her sink. It looked as if her mother had maybe used it that morning, or that she was about to, but was running late for work and forgot to put it away. Kisa looked at the razor carefully. She then placed the cold blade onto her fresh, pale

skin. The tears finally came as the blade cut open her arms flesh.

Kisa felt good as watched the blood flow down her arm, as the tears finally fell down her cheeks.

Adiru: GASP! You're so bad!

Sakura: hits with bread No flames!

Adiru: Sorry!

Sakura: R & R!

Adiru: please?


	2. Her Thoughts

**A/N:**

**Sakura: YO!**

**Adiru:...**

**Sakura: Adiru-chan, stop being all Emo...**

**Adiru: (shuns Sakura)...**

**Sakura: NOOOOOOO! I'VE BEEN SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNDa!**

**On with the torture**

Kisa opened her eyes with a start. She felt the cold tile of her bathroom floor on her soft cheek. She lifted her head up and remembered all of the previous night. The blood, the tears, the release of stress, it all came back to her. Kisa quickly got up off of the floor and walked into her mother's bedroom. The bed was made, as usual, and nothing seemed different from the previous morning, as if no one had come home.

Kisa then walked back to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face and looked in the mirror. Staring back at her was a girl with messy golden locks. Her eyes were swollen red and she didn't smile. Something then hit her. Kisa looked down at her arms. There were red smears all over her arm, like a painting, and her arms were pale as a ghost's complexion. 'Did I do that?' Kisa asked herself, but then shrugged it off. She then washed the self inflicted artwork away and headed to her room to get dressed.

When she opened her closet, ready to take out her uniform, she realized it was Saturday. 'Good,' Kisa thought,' I won't have to deal with hiding these cuts until tomorrow.' Kisa then shook her head, as if she was trying to get out of a daze. 'Did I really just think that?' Kisa thought. Kisa then shrugged that question off too and grabbed clothing from her closet. She then put on the dark colored jeans and white t-shirt she picked out. She threw on a green sweatshirt that her mother bought her last month, though she had never gotten a chance to wear it in the past.

Kisa then went to get breakfast. She opened their fridge and saw only a few apples, some KoolAid, and a few bars of chocolate. The rest of the food either looked expired, or something Kisa's mother had tried to cook, but for some reason, were always burned. Kisa took out an apple and some red KoolAid. When she finished her breakfast, Kisa decided that it would be best to go get food from the store that day. Kisa then took a sticky note and a pen from out of a drawer and wrote a note:

_To Mom:_

_I'm going to the store to get some food._

_I'll be back soon._

_-Kisa_

Kisaput the note on the fridge, took her wallet, and walked to the shopping center down the street.

Kisa looked at her watch. It was already two in the afternoon. 'I should get home soon,' Kisa thought to herself. She then grabbed the last of what she needed and went to the register. She had bought a dozen assorted fruits, some rice, a gallon of milk, and a few other items. Since the complex also had a clothing store right nearby, Kisa had also gotten a new sweatshirt and a pair of shoes, with her own money of course.

When Kisa came out of the store, she went around the building to the back, because she lived behind the shops. As she was walking to her house, she saw a couple of older students, who Kisa suspected were of high school age. A couple of them also looked like they were closer to Kisa's own age. She slowly walked over to the group to see what they were doing.

The first thing she saw was an injecting tool, like the one Hatori used to give her a tetanus shot last year, but this one was different. It didn't look like it contained a medicine, but it did contain a yellowish liquid in the tool. The students were putting rubbing alcohol on their arms and injecting the needle into their skin. When they pulled the needle out, they wiped the needle down with the alcohol and passed it on to the next person. The tool, which the group called a syringe, was passed around the circle from person to person as Kisa remained in the shadows and watched.

Suddenly, a pair of icy green eyes locked ith Kisa's brown ones. "Who the fuck is this kid?" the boy asked another boy next to him. They both had short black hair and pale skin.

"How the hell should I know?"the other boy replied,"Hey Nanako, you know the brat?"

A girl with long, flipped black and red hair looked at the boys. "No," she replied coldly. She looked at Kisa, her black eyes piercing her skin," This is no place for a child. Go home,"Nanako replied.

Kisa stood in her spot, frozen as a statue, her face showing no expression. "Didn't you hear me?"Nanako asked," I _said _-" she slapped Kisa across the face-"Go Home!"

Kisa got up from the concrete. "I'm not a child."

"Fine. Here!"

Nanako threw the syringe at Kisa. She then pushed Kisa back to the concrete and kicked her side. She and the group then moved away, leaving Kisa alone in the street.

**A/N:**

**Sakura: Oh. My. AKITO!**

**Adiru: I feel bad for Kisa... why do you do these things?**

**Sakura: I dunno... They just come to me...**

**Adiru: You're evil like a Weeble...**

**Sakura: (smiles) Whatever. The next chapter is gonna be great!**

**Adiru:... OH! I get it now! Red KoolAid! hahaha**

**Sakura: A friend of ours thought that red vinegar was KoolAid and drank it. It took him 20 minutes to realize!**

**Adiru: This story I'm starting to enjoy.**

**Sakura: Cool. Oh! And in this story, Kisa is about 14.**

**Syanara!**

**Adiru-chan + Sakura-chan**


	3. Cry thy self to sleep

**A/N:**

**Adiru: Woooooooooooooooooooo! Next chapter dances like a spazz**

**Sakura: heh. I got Adiru excited about the story.**

**Adiru: dances...still Are you gonna just talk or are you gonna write?**

**Sakura: Well I thought I'd just talk to the fans this cha- **

**Adiru: hits Sakura with newspaper Write dammit!**

**Sakura: ... I was kidding!**

**Adiru: grrrrr!**

**Sakura: I don't own anything. Don't you know that by now?**

Kisa sat on her bed. She had been looking at her nightstand, which had the syringe on top. 'I should give it to the police,' Kisa thought,'but they won't believe me when I tell them. No one will.'

After a while, Kisa just sighed and put the syringe in her drawer. She then went into her mom's office. Her mother had always welcomed her in the office with a warm smile, but today her mother wasn't home. Kisa was greeted only with papers strewn on the desk and floor, and the cold darkness. After straightening up, Kisa sat in her mother's chair and went online.

When Kisa checked her mail, she was greeted by a surprise. Three pieces of mail were in her mailbox. She opened the first one and read:

_To the **freak:**_

_I can't wait to see you on Monday_

_We all have a little surprise_

_Just for **you.**_

Kisa looked at her other two pieces of mail. They basically said the same thing. She deleted all three and shut down the computer. Suddenly, the phone rang. Kisa ran across the house and picked up the phone. "Hello?" she said.

"Guess who." said a cold voice. Kisa recognized it. It was Orivia, the girl that pushed Kisa.

"What do you want Orivia?" Kisa asked coldly. She was surprisd by her tone.

"I hope you got my e-mail."

"I did."

"Good."

"Well, I hope you enjoy your weekend you little bitch," Orivia said cheerfully, but still coldly," Because this will be the last good weekend you have for a very long time."

"Why do you say that?"

"Becauseyour a bitch, everyone hates you, and you'll never have any friends. That's why."

"I have friends!"

"Who?"

Kisa remained silent. Her throat closed up. "That's what I thought," Orivia said and then chuckled,"Well, tata." There was a click, and then the call was over.

Kisa's lip started to tremble. She didn't know what she when she started running to the bathroom. She slammed the door and grabbed the razor. She sliced through her skin and cried. She didn't care if anyone ever saw her scars or heard her crying. She just kept making the small marks across her skin.

She leaned on the wall and slid to the floor. Kisa stared at her tiny cuts everywhere on her skin. She wiped the bloody razor off and threw it away. The blood slid down her arms onto her sleeve. Kisa wiped the blood off her arms and went into her room. She then turned off the lights and continued to cry herself to sleep.

**A/N:**

**Adiru: 0.0**

**Sakura: I know.**

**Adiru: You so cruel!**

**Sakura: I know!**

**Adiru: Ok. Just as long as you realize that. drinks hot cocoa**

**Sakura:... I wanna cocoa! (:3**

**Adiru: Fine. makes cocoa**

**Sakura: Yea! R&R!**


	4. Naked

**A/N:**

**Sakura: Konnichiwa everyone!**

**Adiru: Hey...**

**Sakura: I have a... SURPRISE!!!!**

**Adiru: What is it?**

**(Mimi from RENT Comes onstage): um... hi?**

**Adiru: OMYAKITO! (hugs Mimi)New Friend!**

**Sakura: Qiuet! I'm about to write the story...**

**Adiru and Mimi: ...**

**Sakura: Thank you... On with the story!**

-------------------------------------

Kisa woke up the next morning slightly frazzled. She couldn't remember what had happened at all the previous night. The cuts on her arm is what set her off. 'Oh,' Kisa remembered, 'Right.' She then got out of bed and looked at her clock. It was 3:00 am.

Since there wasn't much to do, Kisa simply just wandered around the house aimlessly. She didn't know what she did or where she was going. She simply just walked out the front door into the darkness.

The first thing that triggered in Kisa's mind was that it was raining. For a while, Kisa simply just stared up into the dark clouds. Soon, she began to cry. All the memories came flooding back to her, haunting her mind like ghosts in her fragile heart. She cried for what seemd like hours, the raindrops falling faster and faster with each tear. Kisa shivered. She was completely soaked throught to the bone, but she didn't notice, nor care. She just continued to cry. She then felt an arm wrap around her.

She looked up and saw Hiro trying to help her up off of the ground. 'He heard me crying,' she thought. Something then hit her mind. The cuts. She tried to hide them, but she had left her sweatshirt inside, so her arms lie completley bare and exposed to the world. As Hiro continued to try to help her up, Kisa blushed slightly. She felt so embarrased, and so naked with her cuts exposed. She didn't know what to do. She simply just pushed Hiro away and ran.

Kisa ran as fast as she could away from the Sohma estate, crying as she ran. She ran through all of the alleyways and passed all of the shops. She didn't realize where she was until the tears refused to flow from her eyes. She looked around and noticd that she was in the woods by Shigure's house. She continued to shiver from the cold rain seeping onto her pale skin. She wanted something.

Kisa knew what she wanted. Relief. She leaned on a tree and ran her fingers through her soaked hair. She then felt something in her pocket. She reached in her pocket and pulled out the object. The syringe. She didn't realize what she was doing or why she was doing this.

She took the syringe and injected the drug into her skin.

----------------------------------

**A/N:**

**Adiru: Noooooooo! You PROMISED you wouldn't do that!**

**Sakura: I said I wasn't sure...**

**Adiru: no.no. (shakes self) this isn't happening...**

**Mimi: Reminds me of the old days...**

**Sakura: Damned straight! Anyways, I gots an announcment to make.**

**Adiru: What?**

**Sakura: The story will not be over anytime soon!**

**Mimi: that's it?**

**Sakura: For now, yes.**

**Mimi: ok (turns to Adiru) You ok?**

**Adiru: no...**

**Mimi: awww(hugs Adiru) it'll be ok.**

**Adiru: Leave me alone!**

**Sakura: Read and Review!**


	5. Release

**A/N:**

**Sakura: Konnichiwa!**

**Adiru: Hey...**

**Mimi: Hello!**

**Sakura: Um... before we begin the chapter-**

**Adiru: Oh God, Please Don't Make Kisa Do Drugs Again!**

**Sakura: ...As I was saying, I have an announcment to make to one of my reviewers for chapter four. **

**Mimi: What do you have to say?**

**Sakura: Adiru must say it! It must come from her!**

**Adiru: Oh...ok(clears throught) Reviewer AQUA, it is Adiru-chan's mom that is dead, not Sakura-chan's. That's all I need to say.**

**Mimi: You have no problem saying that?**

**Adiru: Of course not.**

**Sakura: Now that that's cleared up, on with le story!**

**-------------------------------------------------------**

Kisa woke up freezing. She didn't remember anything until she looked at her surroundings. It was dark out and it smelt like it had been raining. Her clothes were drenched and she noticed that her cuts had opened up. Her once plain white shirt was now soaked through with blood. Kisa only looked at her cuts with wide eyes. The surging pain went down her spine. Her stomach churned.

Kisa clutched her stomach and kield over. Her stomach contents emptied out onto the met grass. After what seemed like hours, Kisa's stomach finally was empty of all of its contents. Kisa pulled her weak body off of the ground and took a step foward and fell onto her front. Kisa shivered as she tried to get up again. She was breathing heavily and felt like she couldn't move as she leaned on her knees. She suddenly was vomiting again, even though there was nothing left in her stomach.

She looked down and saw something red in her vomit. Blood. Kisa continued trying to walk. When she got out of the forest, she was about to fall again. She leaned on a nearby wall. The pain of the cuts went down her spine again and she winced in pain. A family then walked past her. Two girls and a mother. They didn't offer to help her, but Kisa simply brushed them off. She glared at the happy family as they walked down the road. A little girl looked over her shoulder at Kisa. She could see the fear and the wanted help in Kisa's mind, but just continued walking with the rest of her family.

'See,' Kisa said matter-of-factly to her self, 'No one cares about you.' Suddenly, the sound of Orivia's voice came into her thoughts, 'And no one ever will.'

Kisa's eyes widened. Tears started to fall but she brushed them away. She realized then that Orivia was right. **No one did care about her. And no one ever would. No matter how much she tried. No one would ever care. **

-----------------------------------------------------------

It took Kisa the rest of the day to walk back to her house. When she arrived, she could barely breath. Sweat dripped off of her face. She then colappesed onto the floor. She was shaking uncontrollbly. Tears fell from her eyes. 'Am I,' she started thinking, 'Going to die?'

The thought of death scared her a bit. The tears fell faster. She wasn't read to die. ' I did this,' Kisa thought, 'It's my fault I feel so crappy right now! It's my fault!'

Suddenly, Kisa was unable to breath. She knew that if she attempted to scream, it would just waste her last breath. 'Even if I do scream,' Kisa thought, 'Would anyone come?'

When Kisa was able to breath again, she felt dizzy. She passed out on the floor of her house, cold and alone. Before she lost conciousness she kept thinking, 'No one will come.' And then she realized, 'This wasn't the release I was looking for...'

-----------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N:**

**Sakura: i hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!**

**Adiru: How many chapters do you plan to have?**

**Sakura: I dunno...**

**Mimi: It's good Kisa didn't make the same mistake I did... (sips tea)**

**Sakura: yep...yep...(sips tea also)**

**Adiru: Hey, I want some!**

**Sakura and Mimi: No.**

**Read and Review!!!!**


	6. The Words That Scar Her

**A/N:**

**Sakura: Hi everyone**

**Mimi: Hello!**

**Adiru: Hey...**

**Sakura: Adiru-chan what's wrong?**

**Adiru: Well...I'm sorry...**

**Sakura: For what?**

**Adiru: I...I'm... not looking forward... to the chapter...**

**Sakura: le Gasp! A FLAMER!!! (brings out paper, chewy eye candies, and a chainsaw) You. must. DIE!!!**

**Adiru: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Don't Kill Me!!! (starts to cry)**

**Sakura: (becomes 'normal' and drops objects) Adiru-chan...**

**Mimi: awwwww. It'll be okay chika.(hugs Adiru)**

**Sakura: Adiru-chan, I'm so-**

**Mimi: (slaps Sakura away) You did this! I don't want you to hurt her more!**

**Sakura:...**

**I don't own crap...**

**-----------------------------------------**

Kisa opened her eyes. She was drenched in sweat and covered in blood. She looked at her arms. The cuts had sealed up again, but the blood had not gone away. 'Am I,' Kisa thought, 'Still alive?' She then realized she was on her living room floor. She tried to prop herself up on her elbows, but fell back to the ground. She looked out her window. It was dark outside.

Kisa tried once more to get up and finally succeeded. Her vision became blurry and she tried to shake out of it. 'My head hurts,' she thought. She got up off of the floor and started to walk shakily to her room. It was as if someone had replaced her legs with Petite-cheese pai(1). When she got to her room, she collapsed on her bed. She looked at the clock on her window sill. It was 4:45 in the morning.

Kisa tried to fall asleep, but nothing was working. She then got frustrated and got out of bed. She grabbed a CD her mother had gotten for her birthday back in April, which was a band that kids at school used to like. Now, she was older and no one really listen to the band, which was Good Charlotte, anymore. She popped the CD into the living room stereo and turned it on. She listen to only half of the CD when she fell asleep on the couch.

------------------

When Kisa woke up, she felt a little better than last night. 'I feel like crap,' Kisa thought. She immediately covered her mouth. 'Did I really just think that? That doesn't seem like me.' She simply just brushed it off and started to get ready for school.

When Kisa was in the bathroom brushing her teeth, something clicked. Her scars. How would she hide them? It was May and that meant that everyone was required to wear the Spring uniform(2). She washed the last of the blood off of her body in the shower and quickly brushed her hair. Not feeling like eating breakfast, Kisa grabbed her portable CD player, put in the CD she had listened to last night and put on her new black sweatshirt before running out the door.

------------------

Kisa walked silently into the school. A few people stared at her because her sweatshirt wasn't in the dress code, but no one seemed to care by the time the homeroom bell rang. 'Of course they wouldn't care,' Kisa thought to herself.

The day went by slowly at first, but by the time second period was over, the rest of the day just seemed to fly by. Until fourth period. Every second seemed to feel like an hour. The teacher of her class, which was her Math class, had taken her out of the room while the rest of the class took a test. "You do realize you are breaking the dress code, don't you Sohma-san?"her teacher asked. Kisa remained silent. "Don't you?" the teacher asked again. Kisa nodded her head. "Well, since you realize what you're doing, why don't you take it off?"

"Excuse me?" Kisa asked. She didn't understand.

"I said to take the sweatshirt off." the teacher replied.

"But," Kisa started growing quiet, "I'm cold."

"Next time wear the school sweater," the teacher told her, "Now, take off the sweatshirt!"

Kisa sighed under her breath. She removed the sweatshirt past her elbows and let the cloth hang off of her wrists. The scars were completely exposed.

"Oh." was all the teacher said as he walked back into the classroom, letting Kisa put her sweatshirt on again.

----------------------

After math had ended, Kisa headed back to her locker to put her books away. When she opened her locker, something caught her attention. A note was suspended from a string, hanging from the bottom of the shelf. Kisa took the note off of the string and read:

_Dear Bitch-san,_

_Meet us in the bathroom during next period. _

_We want to give you your** surprise**... _

_Your **Best Friend, Orivia**_

'Oh,' Kisa thought, 'I forgot about _that.' _Kisa then took the note, crumpled it up, and threw it in the garbage.

When Kisa got to the bathrooms, she opened the big wooden door to reveal the empty room in it's pink-tiled glory. She turned to walk out but saw another note. 'Follow the arrows' is what it said. Kisa then noticed something. There were arrows on the floor in blue painting tape. She followed the arrows until she came to an 'X' in red tape. On the floor above the 'X' was a piece of tape that read, 'Look at the stall.' Kisa, not realizing the consequences, turned.

On the wall of the bathroom stall was writing. Kisa read every line and felt like crying at what she read:

_Kisa is a fuckin' bitch_

_For a good time call Kisa 606-6660_

_Sohma-san shows you the real meaning of fun..._

The one that just pushed Kisa off of the edge was,** _Kisa Sohma is a lesbo_**_(3). _Kisa just kept thinking,' Why do people make up these things?' But the fact was, Kisa never really thought anymore.

She didn't know what to do. No one would believe her, because no one cared enough. No one cared at all in Kisa's mind. She didn't realize her actions that followed the event.

Kisa tried to slit her wrists on the paper towel holder's sharp edges, just wanting to wake up from this nightmare, even though it was **real**.

--------------------------------------

**A/N:**

**Sakura: (comes back crying) I'm sooooo sorry Adiru-chan!**

**Adiru: It's okay...Really...**

**Mimi: Okay.**

**Sakura: Yea, I'm so happy!**

**Mimi: Yep...**

**Adiru: Wait! Is the chapter over?**

**Sakura: Yep! I just have a few announcements to make!**

**Mimi: Okay then tell the audience what they need to hear.**

**Sakura: Okay! (clears throat) This chapter is _really _pushing the rated Teen limits, and since I would like to continue to story and not get suspended, I have no choice but to push the rating up to M, for Mature. So if you don't want your parents to see you in the rated M section, then please add me to your favorites or alerts or something THIS CHAPTER, because next update, which will probably be in the next few days, this fic WILL be rated M!**

**Adiru: Is that it?**

**Sakura: And one more thing from all of us, but since Mimi is famous she will say it! you guys are probably sick of me talking anyway. **

**Adiru: yep. After all, you just got a full paragraph.**

**Mimi: ANYWAY... Sakura and the rest of us are getting really TIRED of people who READ FICS AND THEN DON"T REVIEW!!!!**

**Sakura: Anonymous fans, you can review my stories if you want. Please Review though, cause I've had like 355 Views, but only about 20 REviews!**

**Adiru: PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!**

**Sakura and The Amazing Technicolor Vocab**

**1) (Poo-chee-chee-pie) A kind of soft gooey cheesecake that children enjoy as a snack. It is very small, like the size of half a pound of fudge.**

**2)By the new school year in Japan (which I think begins right after our Spring Break ends) You must wear a spring uniform, which is usually only a short sleeved version of the Winter uniform. (Kisa's contains a light blue sailor-like top with a tie, a dark blue mini skirt and stockings. In winter, you may wear a sweater that either the school store provides or a sweater that is the color of the top or a neutral color, like white or off-white is common.)**

**3) No offense to gay peoples! I respect them, but kids would do stuff like this these days! I would NOT do _anything_ like this, but most girls in my school would do something like this!**


	7. I Don't Love You

**A/N:**

**Sakura: Konnichiwa!**

**Adiru: Guten Tag!**

**Mimi: Hola!**

**Sakura: We ARE Bi-Lingwal (hope I spelled that right...)**

**Adiru: Oh you totally spelled that wrong!**

**Sakura: Oh crap. Was I thinking out loud again? Damn.**

**Mimi: Just tell the story...**

**Sakura: Fine! We won't introduce our 'special guest' until the end then!**

**Mimi: Whatever...**

**On with El Story-o!**

-------------------------------------------

Kisa walked out the large front doors at the sound of the final bell. She walked down the large stone steps of the school, hiding in behind her golden bangs. A large group of girls passed by her as she continued down the last few steps. One of them banged into her shoulder. "Excuse me!" the girl said, a hint of attitude in her voice. Kisa continued down the steps and continued to ignore the girls, knowing the girls that crashed into her was none other than Orivia Umasaki.

"Hey," Orivia scolded, "Didn't your mother ever teach you any manners? I said-" Orivia banged into Kisa again, but harder- "Excuse me!" Kisa let out a squeal and fell down the last two steps, cutting the palms of her hands in the process. All the girls did was laugh and walk right past Kisa, who was in a crawling position on the concrete.

After the Orivia and her 'friends' left, Kisa got up off of the ground, a blank expression on her face as she continued to walk. Once the school gates were in her view, Kisa saw someone at the gates. A young girl with long, flowing brown hair and light brown eyes leaning against a small brick wall. "Onee-chan?" the words escaping Kisa's lips quietly.

Tohru turned around and gave Kisa a warm smile, greeting her with a tight hug, making Kisa feel a little better inside.

------------------------

"Kisa-chan," Tohru started as the two walked back to Shigure's house, "How have you been? I haven't seen you in so long!" Kisa thought for a moment. She couldn't tell Tohru about the cutting, or trying the heroin. No. She wouldn't do it. She wouldn't tell her. Not her onee-chan.

"Everything's going fine!" Kisa lied, putting on a fake smile for her sister(1).

"That's great!" Tohru replied, smiling her heart melting smile. Kisa nodded gently and face forward, remaining quiet the rest of the walk. It felt so wrong, lying to her onee-chan. It only made Kisa hate herself more.

Once they arrived out the house, Tohru slid open the paper door to the kitchen, Kisa following behind her like she did when she was younger. She saw when she entered the kitchen that Kyo was sitting at the table, staring at her. It made her feel so out of place, like she didn't belong there. It gave her the same feeling she got at school. "Um," Kisa started, her soft voice going up an octave, "hello." She put on a fake smile for Kyo.

"Hey," Kyo greeted, still sending shivers down her spine with his glare, "What's with the sweatshirt?"

"W-what do you mean?" Kisa asked nervously. She thought he hadn't noticed.

"Does your school let you wear it?" Kyo asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh!"Kisa replied, forming a plan in her head, "No, but i only wore it coming to school and leaving school. I was gonna get a school sweater but they were sold out the last time the store was open!"

"But why is the sweatshirt black?" Kyo asked.

"I thought it looked nice," Kisa replied. It, for once that day, was the truth.

"Whatever," Kyo muttered.

'He doesn't believe me,' Kisa thought, 'Then again, why would he?' Kisa felt like she wanted to cry, after all that had happened that day. She quickly excused herself to the bathroom and shut the door. The tears felt down her eyes like bullets. After crying for a while, Kisa grew a headache. She grabbed two pills from the medicine cabinet, shoving them into her mouth, not caring about their effects.

In the medicine cabinet, there were only a few bottles of pills, which were all for headaches and colds, and a box of razors. Kisa grabbed the box. She took on of the razors out of it's packaging and started to slid the blade lightly in small vertical lines down her arm. She felt like she was in a whole new world when she cut. She felt like Alice in Wonderland going down the rabbit's hole, filled with both curiosity and fear. In the middle of one of her cuts, a stream of light came from the hallway from the door. She looked up from her arm, still in her own world. The queen had found her. Well, not the queen, but a **princess** sure had.(2)

Tohru stared at Kisa, tears welling up in her eyes. "Kisa-chan," Tohru whispered, reaching out to her, "Why?" Kisa remained silent, pulling her arms behind her. "Kisa-chan, why are yo doing this?" Tohru asked again. The razor fell to the tiled floor below, sounding like a bullet hitting glass to Kisa. The tears started to fall down Tohru's pale cheeks. "I don't understand," Tohru choked out, "Please, tell me why you're hurting yourself Kisa-chan?"

"No one can understand," Kisa muttered. Tohru stopped crying for a moment, "You think you can _help _me? You think you can _understand_ me?" Tohru grew silent. "Don't you get it? No one can help me! I don't deserve help from you, or anyone else! Do you get it now?!? I don't deserve to live!"

"No," Tohru said, tears falling from her eyes like small stars, "That's not true!"

"Yes it is," Kisa yelled at her sister, " You can't help me! You'll never understand!" Tohru reached over to Kisa, who was now backing away, only to have her slap her hand away. Kisa then ran out the door, never returning to house again.

Kisa ran. She ran all the way throught the familiar woods behing the small home until it was dark. 'Mother always told me never to go into the woods alone,' Kisa thought to herself, 'Espcially at night.'

Suddenly, Kisa heard a rustling noise behind her. After listening for a few moments, Kisa brushed it off, thinking it was a rabbit or stray cat, and continued walking. She then grew tired and started to walk back to her house. Not wanting to have to go back through the woods in the middle of the night, knowing that Tohru was probably looking for her, Kisa cut through a few alleyways towards the complex by her house. When she reached the back of the stores, where she had been hurt by junkies by her house, she felt a shiver down her spine. She felt like someone was watching her.

All of a sudden, a hand grabbed her arond her waist from behind and pulled her into the bushes. After a little struggle, the hands pinned her down to the cold, wet ground. Deciding it was no use to fight since the person that grabbed her, which actually turned out to be two people(a high-school aged boy and and girl from what Kisa could see in the darkness.) were much stronger than her, she just lay under them, letting the two rape her, feeling like Alice under the Queen's grasp.

------------------------------------

**A/N:**

**Adiru: WHAT?!?!?**

**Sakura: I know...**

**Mimi: That happened to me once...**

**Adiru: Really?**

**Mimi: Yeah...How else do you think I got AIDS?**

**Adiru: Heroin?**

**Mimi: Nope.**

**Adiru: Wow.**

**Sakura: Now as much as I love hearing Mimi's backstory, we must introduce our newest friend!**

**Mimi: Do know them?**

**Sakura: Yep! This is dedicated to Ellie-chan(Stopthepress28) Adiru, and Mimi!**

**Angel: (twirls in) Hola everyone!**

**Mimi and Adiru: HOLY SHIT!!!**

**Sakura: heh. Read and Review!**

**Adiru and the Amazing Technocolor Vocab**

**1) By sister, we mean a sister figure. We will use this term a lot in future stories, unless you know for a fact that two people are actually SISTERS.**

**2)No, this is NOT a YukiTohru pairing reference. A lot of people refer to Tohru as a princess, which would totally fit since in volume 15, Kyo plays Prince Charming in Sorta Cinderella. (Read all the volumes peoples!)**

**And now a word from our sponsors:**

**Matt: Alice in Wonderland... Love it or Die!**

(He was one of our camp councelours. He hated me, but loved Adiru, so he's a sponsor...)


	8. Will I?

**A/N:**

**Angel: Hola chikas!**

**Everyone else: Hey!**

**Sakura: Why is everyone so emo today?**

**Adiru: Cause I just got back from Joseph...(yawns)**

**Mimi: Because I can be!**

**Angel: Calm down chika (hugs Mimi)**

**Mimi: After what she did to Kisa, I'll never calm down!**

**Sakura: (angst)**

**Angel: Aww!(hugs Sakura) Don't worry chika! Just write your story and ignore them...**

**Sakura: Thank you. **

**On with the story!**

**----------------------------------**

Kisa woke up in the thorny bushes. At first, she thought she had just passed out, but when she felt the pain rush all over her small body, she cried.

She thought it had all been a dream, but the fact is, it wasn't. The two teenagers had raped her and left her bruised and covered in dirt. She got herself up onto her elbows and took a long look at herself.

Her clothes were off her body, leaving her cold and covered in dirt. A tattered blanket lay over her body, which was covered in bruises and cuts. Kisa then used all of her strength to get up off of the ground and wrapped the blanket tightly around her. She tried to find her clothes, but since she was too scared to go in the woods because off how the teenagers violated her, she went into the dark street and ran to her home. She opened the door quickly and ran into her bedroom. She slammed the door shut, locked it, and fell onto her soft bed under the window and cried herself to sleep.

------------------------

Kisa tossed and turned in her bed sheets, trying to push the memories away._ A young boy on top of her,holding a pocket knife at her throat as the young girl pressed her on the ground and kissed her firmly on the lips. _

Kisa shot up out of her bed crying. She pulled her blood soaked bed sheets up to her chin to cover herself, since the tattered blanket had fallen off of her when she was sleeping. 'I'm never gonna forget this,' Kisa thought, 'And even if I do, one day, it will come back to haunt me.' Kisa shivered and shook with fright. 'What if they come back?' Kisa thought, only making herself cry more. She never wanted to be faced with the two teenagers again.

'What's gonna happen to me,' Kisa asked herself, 'Why didn't I stop them? What if I get pregnant from this?' Kisa then remembered that it was the girl that had violated her the most, so a pregnancy was impossible. Suddenly, a serious question entered Kisa's thoughts, causing her to cry a little more. 'What if Orivia's right about me?' She then got out of bed and went into the bathroom after calming down some more.

'I never stopped them. That's only because they were too strong. I won't let Orivia get to me that easily. Will I?' Kisa then brushed away all those thoughts with a simple answer. 'I'll have to think about this for a little longer, but not now.' She then went into the hot shower and washed away her worries.

When she got out of the shower, she went into her room. She grabbed from the closet a green T-shirt that said 'How about Never', a pair of blue jeans, and some fuzzy toe socks(1). When she got dressed, she went into her living room, only to find her CD collection scattered across the top of the stereo, and her green sweatshirt. She picked up the sweatshirt and drooped it over her thin shoulders. The first thing she noticed was the blood on the sleeves(2). She simply brushed it off and walked over to the stereo.

She put in her Good Charlotte CD and listen to it for what seemed like hours. When the CD came to the middle of it, a soft sound came from the speakers. 'Ew,' Kisa thought. She then skipped to the next song and listen to it.

That's when the doorbell rang.

**A/N:**

**Sakura: OOOOOh! A cliffy!**

**Adiru: (yawn) Whatever. Good chapter though.**

**Mimi and Angel: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-**

**Sakura: Okay, it's late. I'll see you guys next chapter.**

**Adiru: Read and Review...(passes out) **


	9. Mama

**A/N:**

**Sakura: Ohmygod! We must continue with the story! We have a cliffhanger spell to break! (throws cookies and empty Starbucks cups at people) WAKE UP EVERYONE!!!!**

**Adiru: (lifts head with paper stuck to face) Wha?**

**Mimi: (yawn) Whas goin'-(gets hit in the head with a cookie) Hey!**

**Angel: (stretches out arms) Good morning everyone!**

**Adiru: (rubs eyes then walks over to the blinds and opens them) It's not morning yet!**

**Sakura: (chucks Starbucks cup at Adiru) **

**Adiru: (gets hit) Ah! Hot! (catches cup and stares at it) Yea! (drinks)**

**Mimi: Just write the damn story!**

**Sakura: FINE! Be that way!**

**The day I own Fruits Basket is the day the world explodes (along with Takaya-sensei's head from the stress (bows)**

--------------------------

Kisa walked over to the stereo and turned down the volume. The doorbell then rang again. Kisa walked over to the front door and opened it. She looked through the screen door window and saw two men dressed in police attire. 'Could they be here because they found my clothes in the wood _and_ the kids who raped me?' Kisa thought. Of course, she dared not to say anything out loud, just in case the two teenagers were near by. She then opened the screen door.

"Um," Kisa started shyly, "Can I help you?"

"Yes," the first policeman replied, "We were wondering if you knew where the Sohma residence was?"

Kisa didn't understand. Of course she was the Sohma residence, but because all of the Sohma's dared not to venture too far from Akito, they all lived in the same area. So, it could have been anyone that the two policemen were looking for. Shigure, Ayame, Ritsu, or maybe even the God herself.

'They're probably looking for Akito,' Kisa thought, 'That's all anyone ever fusses over. It's always the pretty one, the rich one, or the most popular one. Why can't they all pay attention to the unpopular ones, or the poor ones? I'm sick of this. It's the same everywhere. At school, at the store, even at home. I hate it. I hate them all. Especially Akito.'

Of course, Kisa would _**never** _even _try _to say it in front of Akito, let alone think it. Who knows what would happen to her. For something someone else did, she was put in the hospital for two weeks. For something she did, she would probably never even get to the hospital in time to live.

Kisa then snapped out of her thought when the policemen, who's nameplate read Masaru, asked her where he could find the Sohma residence again. Kisa, not wanting to be heard by Akito, or people who worked for her, or confusing the policemen she softly asked, "Um, which Sohma residence are you looking for?" She then waited for Masaru to say the name 'Akito.' She could almost see it on the tip of his tongue.

"Hold on one second," Masaru said. The other policemen, Kuro, then started to flip through some papers on a clip board, while Kisa drifted in her thoughts.

'It's probably Akito,' Kisa thought, 'It always is all about Akito.' She then started to remember something.

There had been a young girl in Kisa's class the previous year. She had a small frame, dark mahogany colored hair, and big green eyes. She wasn't particularly pretty on the outside like Orivia was now, but she had been so nice to Kisa. When Kisa sat alone at lunch one day, the girl, Aki-chan, had sat down next to her. They had become almost somewhat friends.

No more than a couple of months into the fast-moving relationship, the girl had been jumped by a local gang in the area on her way home from school. The girls had thrown her into a trash can, kicked the tin siding hard, and then place the girl on her head. She had been sent to the hospital with a few bruises, a broken nose (for one girl had punched her at school) and a slight concussion. The following Monday, she came back to school and was jumped **again**, but by different girls. Again, she went to the hospital.

Kisa was never really sure what happened to Aki-chan after that. No one spoke of her, because she wasn't popular. And of course, the school had done nothing.

"Um," Kuro started. Kisa snapped out of her daze like thinking, "We're looking for Kisa Sohma."

'What a surprise,' Kisa thought, 'I wonder what they want?'

"Um,"Kisa started, "I'm Kisa Sohma. That's me."

"Well," Masaru said, "We're sorry to tell you this, but we just found a young woman's body in an alleyway a few miles from here."

"I don't understand," Kisa replied, "Why would you be sorry to tell me this?"

"Kisa," Kuro asked, "Has your mother been home lately?"

"No," Kisa said, "Why?"

"Kisa," Masaru started, "Your mother is dead."

**A/N:**

**Adiru: HOLY SHIT BAGS! (hits Sakura with now empty Starbucks cup) You promised you wouldn't kill anyone off!**

**Sakura: Ow! No, I never promised that. I said I wouldn't kill KISA off.**

**Adiru:...I don't like you anymore... (shuns)**

**Mimi: Me neither... (shuns)**

**Angel: Don't worry chika! I still like you! (hugs Sakura)**

**Sakura: Arigato Gozimatsu Angel-san...**

**Angel: Read and----------(twirls) Review!**


	10. I'm Gonna Show My Scar

**A/N:**

**Angel: Hola everyone!**

**Everyone: ...**

**Angel: (To Sakura) What's wrong chika?**

**Sakura: Everyone. Hates Meeeeee! (sobsob)**

**Angel: Now that's not true! (To Mimi) Meems, you don't hate Sakura do you?**

**Mimi: Yea, I do...**

**Sakura: See?!?!**

**Angel: Well, um, wait! Hold on! (runs over to Adiru and wakes her)**

**Adiru: WTF?!?**

**Angel: Chika, you don't hate Sakura do you?**

**Adiru: hmmm. Let me see...Ask me after the chapters over...**

**Sakura: Wahhh!**

**Angel: Don't worry chika I'll find someone who likes you! (runs out door)**

**Random guy on street: 00 ?**

**Sakura: (sniff) Now I'm alone...**

**Mimi: Hello?**

**If you think I own Fruits Basket, you need to be taken to a hospital for medical treatment immediately! Go! Now! Well, after you read this chappie...**

**------------------------**

Kisa closed the door behind her as she entered her home slowly. She had just gotten back from the police station, where they had to discuss where she would be taken to live after the funeral.

Out of all the Sohmas, why did they have to choose her father? Didn't they know how much he hurt Kisa, or her mother? Apparently not since she was leaving for his home in a few days.

Kisa, being so upset after all that had happened in the past few days, ran down the hallway to her hungry new razor blade. She yanked the tool out of its plastic packaging and placed the blade gently onto her pale skin. She then closed her eyes and started to carve into a 'fresh canvas' on her forearm.

She found happiness in the blade. The blood was her medication for hurt. It gave her such a release of her problems. It felt like when the blood oozed crimson out of her arms, all of the stress in her body went along with it. It just went out of her system.

After twenty minutes and ten cuts later, Kisa started feeling dizzy and didn't know why. Maybe it was from the stress, or maybe it was from losing a bit too much blood, but whatever it was, it didn't make Kisa feel good. She started shaking uncontrollably as she thought to herself, 'Not again.' She had realized. She was shaking from withdrawal to the heroin. The one time she did it, she got addicted.

After a few excruciating moments of blood curdling pain, Kisa's heart rate dropped a little too much, causing her to pass out on the cold tile. The blood still on her arms stained the white tile a soft pink, but Kisa didn't notice. All she saw was pure black.

------------------

_Knock Knock!_

_"Kisa," her mother said to her, placing a three year old Kisa on the bed, "stay in here and be as quiet as you can, okay?"_

_"Mommy," Kisa whimpered, "I'm scared. Why is da-"_

_"I don't know sweetheart," her mother interrupted, "I really don't know." Her mother softy kissed the top of her head as a single tear fell down her mother's cheek, Kisa almost duplicating as her mother pulled away from her and walked out her bedroom door._

_For what was mere minutes, but felt like hours to a three year old, all Kisa could hear from the hallway was yelling from her parents. She knew her father wasn't a bad person. Not her daddy. From all of the stories Kisa's mother had told her, he was always very sweet, and a little shy. But ever since Kisa's first transformation when she was on the verge of turning two, her father had changed. _

_He started avoiding her. He would stay out of the house as long as he could, and the few times he did come home, he would either passed out on the couch or screaming a her mother while she was asleep upstairs. Her father had kept all his frustrations bottled up inside, and today, that bottle had been cracked wide open._

_"Just stay away from her!" Kisa heard her mother yell. She then heard a 'bang!' and then the breaking of glass. Her mother had been pushed into the glass cabinet. Before she knew it, she lost her brave face and started to cry again. She then heard another loud 'bang!'_

_She looked up, only to see her father standing in the doorway._

_"Daddy?" Kisa choked out, "Why are you doing this?" She then saw her father's eyes darken from brown to almost black. Her dad started walking over to her._

_"Don't ever call me 'daddy' again," he yelled at her, making her cry more. He then smacked her across the face. More tears escaped her already swollen eyes, making her cheek sting as they ran down her face. She then felt her father pick her up by the wrist._

_She stared at his now black eyes when something caught her eye. Her father was holding something behind his back. Something that glimmered a little in the light. "Please daddy!" Kisa yelled at her father, "Please stop!"_

_"What did I tell you?" her father started angrily, "I told you to never call me daddy!" _

_Kisa was then pushed against the bedroom wall, her back facing her father. Her feet dangled in the air as her hands tried to grab something, anything, to prevent from falling. There was nothing there. She then felt her father cut open the back of her shirt, causing the material to fall to the floor. He then placed the blade of the knife he had on the top of her shoulder. More tears fell out of Kisa's eyes. "D-Daddy, please!" Kisa pleaded._

_"Didn't I just get finished telling you?!?" her father screamed, "I'm not your father!" Kisa closed her eyes tightly._

_Her father then carved a straight line from her shoulder to in between the her two shoulder blades._

-----------------

Kisa woke up screaming in pain. She could still feel the blade running straight through her flesh. She shot up off of the floor, gasping for breath and sweating bullets. She then touched her shoulder and pulled the neckline of her shirt down to reveal the small scar.

The sound of the front door opening made her jump back to reality. 'Someone must have heard me scream,' Kisa realized. She quickly pulled the sleeves of her sweatshirt back over her arms to hide the cuts, and threw the razor into the wastebasket. The bathroom door then slowly opened.

"Kisa," a man's voice said. It was Hatori, "Are you all right. I heard you scream from outside."

"Oh," Kisa started, "I'm sorry Oji-san! I didn't mean to worry you. I just, um, saw a spider on the floor, that's all!"

"Are you sure?" Hatori asked. Kisa hoped he wouldn't see through her lie.

"Yea!" Kisa replied, putting on a fake smile, "I'm fine!"

"Well, all right," Hatori said, "Let me know if you need anything, all right?"

"Okay!" Kisa answered a little too quickly.

As Hatori started closing the door, his eyes traveled over to the pink stain in the tile. Kisa froze instantly as Hatori looked at her worriedly. He then closed the door.

------------------------------------

**A/N:**

**Sakura: (angst)**

**Adiru: (snore)**

**Mimi: (doze)**

**Angle: (runs in) I FOUND HER!!!**

**Everyone: Holy Shit!**

**Adiru: Couldn't this wait till later?**

**Mimi: And found who?**

**Angel: Someone who doesn't hate Sakura! (runs off)**

**Mimi: (to Sakura) Lucky you...**

**Sakura: (blush) yea...**

**Angel: (runs back on) Here she is!**

**Emzy: Jesus, you run fast!**

**Adiru: 0.0**

**Mimi: Who are you?**

**Emzy: Can't you read? Look above you!**

**Mimi: (looks up) Emzy...I think I'm gonna like this girl!**

**Adiru: Hey Em, did you read the new chapter?**

**Emzy: No, I didn't...(reads chapter)**

**Adiru: Oh crap! Sakura I'm sooo sorry!**

**Sakura: Nani? (translation: What?)**

**Emzy: Sakura..!!!!!**

**Mimi: Oh, you're screwed now.**

**Sakura: F! (runs away)**

**Emzy: Get back here!!!**

**Angel: Maybe I should have brought Maureen in after all...**

**Adiru: Wahhh! My best friend's gonna die! And it's all my fault!!!**

**Mimi: Well, that settles it. These notes are chaos!**

**Angel: I agree...**

**Mimi: Should we do the end then?**

**Angel: It's only right... **

**Mimi: Okay then. Read and Review!**

**Angel: (brings out lattes and frappichinos) We have Starbucks!**


	11. Daddy's Little Girl

**A/N:**

**(chaos)**

**Adiru: nooooooo!!!! (cries)**

**Mimi: What's wrong chika?**

**Adiru: She's dead, isn't she?**

**Angel: Who sweety?**

**Adiru: Sakura-chan... (cries more)**

**Emzy: I miss her...(starts to cry)**

**Angel: Come on chikas! Sakura wouldn't want to see you two upset!**

**Emzy: But she won't see us... cause she's...GONE!!!!!!!**

**Angel: (starts to cry silently)**

**Mimi: I miss her too... (sobsob)**

**Sakura: Hey guys what's going- Why's everyone crying?**

**Everyone: (turn)...(attacks Sakura)**

**Sakura: (gets attacked) Gahhhh! What's the matter? I was just getting Starbucks...**

**Everyone: 0.0 (starbucks glomp!)**

**Sakura: Sorry I haven't updated guys. I've had serious writers block... Sorry!!!!**

**Yea! I'm Takaya-sensei! And I waste my time on fanfiction, just so you won't get volume 16...**

**-----------------------------------**

Kisa continued to think about her father for the rest of the night. She couldn't help it. Every time she tried to think of something else, it all lead back to one thing. Her father.

Her father wasn't a bad person. Yes, he did go to anger managment and rehabilitation for an alcohol problem after abusing Kisa that one time. And yes, he had left her mother and her. 'He left us for a good reason though,' Kisa thought, 'He didn't want to hurt me or mom anymore.'

Even so, Kisa was still afraid to live at her father's house. What if he hit her again, or what if he has another family already? After all, it had been ten years since she last spoke to him, and that conversation didn't go over so well, considering she had gotten a scar.

The phone rang, pulling Kisa out of her thoughts. She quickly got off of her bed and ran to get the phone. Not being fast enough, the answering machine clicked on. Kisa sat and listened to the recordingof her mother's voice, _"Hi, you've reached the Sohma residence. We can't pick up the phone now, but if you leave your name and number we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Bye."_

The sound of her mother's voice made Kisa's eyes well up in tears. What made the tears fall was who's voice came onto the machine after the small beep.

_**"Hey Kisa, it's dad. Um, listen, I heard about mom and I'm really sorry. Just call me back when you can at 666-2857. I really want to talk to you. Okay. Bye..." ** beeeeep!_

Kisa broke down and cried on the living room floor. Her eyeliner began to run down her pale cheeks, leaving streaks of black and gray down her face. 'I want to give dad a chance,' Kisa thought, 'but, I just don't know if I can trust him. What if he hurts me again?'

Of course, that question only made Kisa cry more. She didn't want to think of her dad hurting her. No one wants to think that. The simple thought of being hurt like that again scared her. **Then a craving hit.**

Kisa needed something, but she didn't know what. She knew it wasn't the heroin again, and she knew it wasn't food (which she hadn't had much of an appitite lately). Then it hit her. She knew what she needed. She quickly ran to the stereo and put in her Good Charlotte cd. She then ran into the bathroom.

All the past few days, Kisa had developed a thirst. Not like a thirst where she needed to drink something, but a craving her eyes wanted. An insticnt her body had developed. The only difference was that this thirst was stronger. It begged for more than what sh usually allowed. **Her thirst for Blood... **

**A/N:**

**Adiru: Oh my Akito! Your Takaya-sensei?**

**Sakura: That's sarcasm sweety...**

**Adiru: Oh...**

**Sakura: Sorry the chapter was uber short! But I promise the next chapter will be Uber LONG!!!**

**Angel: Isn't there something you wanted to say chika?**

**Sakura: Yea, but I'll leave that for a surprise for next chapter! **

**Mimi: Alright...**

**Emzy: What?! No!!! Tell us NOW!!!!**

**Sakura: (hits Emzy with newspaper) You'll wait, or go sit in the corner!!!**

**Emzy: ...**

**Sakura: Good monkey...**

**Emzy: Who're you callin' a monkey?!**

**Sakura: (hits Emzy with newspaper) What did I tell you?!?**

**Emzy: ... (angry)**

**Sakura: Okay guys! READ AND REVIEW!!!! I WILL NOT update until I have ten reviews for this chapter! I'm sorry guys, but it's come down to that...**

**Angel: Read and Review!**

**Adiru: We have cupcakes!!!**

**Mimi: (takes Emzy's smoothie) And strawberry smoothies!!!**


	12. Hold On

**A/N:**

**Sakura: HI!!!!!**

**Adiru: (grabs Sakura) Okay it's next chapter! Tell us the Surprise NOW!!!!!**

**Emzy: (hold knife to Sakura's throat) Now Missy!**

**Sakura: Wait. Missy's here?**

**Mimi: Um...no...**

**Sakura: oh...(sad) Okay...**

**Adiru: sigh...(goes offscreen)...(comes back) here...**

**Missy: What do I have to do now?**

**Sakura: MISSY!!!! (glomps)**

**Missy: 0.0**

**Emzy: Tell us. NOW!!!**

**Sakura: Fine. fine...**

**Angel: What is it chika?**

**Sakura: Guys I got bad news...**

**Emzy: What?**

**Sakura: ThisIsTheLastChapterBwahahaha!**

**Everyone?**

**Disclaimer: I apologize for last chapter. My friend Reality smacked me across the face later. I'm not Takaya-sensei...or Good Charlotte...**

**All of this is chapter is based on a true story!**

Kisa cut gently down her arm. She needed more blood. She just wasn't getting enough out of her. She didn't want to put up with anything anymore. School, her father, reality. Then it hit her. "I'm gonna go deep," Kisa said to no one. The music on the cd then stopped for a brief moment. The soft song Kisa never put on came from the speakers as Kisa got ready to apply strong pressure while she cut the vein.

_**This world**_

_** This world is cold**_

_** But you don't**_

_** You don't have to go**_

_**You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely, and no one seems to care**_

_**You're mother's gone and your father hits you**_

_**This pain you cannot bear**_

Kisa listened to the music. The lyrics spoke to her, but why?

_ ** But we all bleed the same way as you do**_

_**And we all have the same things to go through**_

****Kisa looked at her arm. All she could see was a bloody smear. How long had she been doing this?

**_ Hold on if you feel like letting go_**

_**Hold on it gets better than you know**_

Tears started to well up in Kisa's golden eyes. All of the memories came back. From start to finish. She wiped a tear out of her eye and looked at it. What was going on?

_** Your days**_

_** You say they're way too long**_

_** And your nights**_

_** You can't sleep at all**_

_** Hold on**_

It was so true. She could never sleep anymore, and days always went by like years. Why was this happening?

**_And you're not sure what you're waiting for, but you don't want to no more_**

_**And you're not sure what you're looking for, but you don't want to no more**_

****What was she waiting for? Kisa didn't even know anymore? Was she really going to leave everyone behind? What did she mean by everyone? People who cared? She forgot she had those...

**_Hold on if you feel like letting go_**

_**Hold on it gets better than you know**_

_** Don't stop looking, you're one step closer**_

_** Don't stop searching, it's not over**_

_** Hold on**_

Kisa looked at the metal of the razor. She could see her reflection. A sad girl with golden eyes smudged away with bleeding eyeliner and a broken heart. Could she heal? Cold anyone forgive her for the things she'd done?

**_ What are you looking for?_**

_**What are you waiting for?**_

_**Do you know what you're doing to me?**_

_**Go ahead...What are you waiting for?**_

****Immediately Kisa thought of Tohru. She had treated her like such cra- I mean, garbage. She'd have to stop cursing. She'd also have to rebuild the crumbled relationship with her sister. And Hiro. She hadn't treated him much better. But she still didn't know. What was she waiting for?

**_Hold on if you feel like letting go_**

_**Hold on it gets better than you know**_

_**Don't stop looking, you're one step closer**_

_**Don't stop searching, it's not over**_

_**Hold on if you feel like letting go**_

_**Hold on it gets better than you know**_

_**Hold on**_

The tears ran down Kisa's face like bullets. She sobbed loudly, which hurt her throat. She couldn't stop dreaming. She wouldn't stop trying to make friends, or trying to find love, just because Akito and Orivia wouldn't let her. A new beginning was in store.

She'd give her father a chance. She'd call him later. But first, she'd have to apologize to Tohru and Hiro. Before she could start though, she'd have to really start on a clean slate, unbloody and fresh.

**She put down the razor...**

**A/N:**

**Sakura: Well, that's it everyone! **

**Emzy: What?!**

**Mimi: Cool. I liked the story...**

**Sakura: Thank you! **

**Missy: Yea. I liked it too. But why Matt as you sponsor?**

**Sakura: Well, he sorta ditched us a while ago. So...how about you?**

**Missy: Cool! (happy)**

**Adiru: Yea! Kisa stopped cutting! (does happy dance)**

**Emzy: Why am I only in two and a half chapters?**

**Sakura: Be grateful! Missy was only in one! **

**Missy: (sad face)**

**Sakura: Besides a) You're in all of my Twilight stories with me and b) I see you every day!**

**Emzy: . . .**

**Angel: Read and Review! **

**Adiru: Bye! We'll Miss You!!!**

**Everyone: (waves)**

**And now a word from our sponsor...**

**Missy: Hello Kitty is cooler than you! ha! Just kidding! I love you all!**

**Sakura: bye everyone! Thanks for Reading! (waves)**


End file.
